What Your Anxiety Is Trying to Tell You

Understanding Anxiety: When It Becomes a Constant Companion

We all feel anxiety, it’s part of being human. Although for some of us, anxiety isn’t just a visitor; it’s a constant companion. We live in a state of hypervigilance, always scanning for what might go wrong. That kind of anxiety can stop us from taking risks, stepping outside, meeting new people, or saying yes to opportunities. It can shrink our world until safety starts to feel like isolation. For many neurodivergent individuals, the nervous system is naturally more sensitive to external stimuli, making the experience of anxiety more intense and persistent. Repeated exposure to stress, whether from social expectations, high-pressure environments, or constant self-monitoring can reinforce the nervous system’s protective patterns. This can create a loop where anxiety feeds on itself. If you’re masking or people-pleasing, this loop is amplified: the body stays on high alert to anticipate danger or disapproval, while your mind tries to manage appearances and keep others comfortable. Over time, the nervous system learns to stay in a heightened state of vigilance, making it harder to step out of anxiety’s cycle and trust that situations can be safe.

Anxiety as a Protective Fence

Anxiety isn’t always the enemy. Sometimes it’s not a wall of spikes, it’s more like an electric fence. It hums quietly until triggered, sending sharp signals only when danger is near. When your body senses a threat, anxiety sharpens your instincts: the moment you grab your child before they fall, or turn the other way down a dark street, here the anxiety is brilliant. The problem begins when that electricity never switches off.

When Anxiety Becomes Debilitating

When anxiety is strong, prolonged, or ever-present, it can feel overwhelming. You second-guess everything you do, feel uneasy around people, and start living a smaller life than the one you want.

Ask yourself:If anxiety weren’t here; what would my life look like?

Anxiety Is Often Misunderstood

Anxiety is one of the most misunderstood emotions. People often either pathologise it, act as if it shouldn’t exist, or treat it as though it always tells the truth. In reality, anxiety is often a defense, a shield protecting other emotions like sadness, shame, or anger. It creates a barrier between you and situations your nervous system perceives as threatening.

The Body’s Role in Anxiety

From a nervous system perspective, your body only wants to keep you alive. When it senses the physical sensations of anxiety, racing heart, sweating, tense muscles. It does everything it can to stop you from going into perceived danger. What your body doesn’t understand is that most situations aren’t actually dangerous. Anxiety is often learned through past negative experiences or the lack of positive ones, your body responds as if threats are everywhere.

Why “Just Forcing Yourself” Doesn’t Always Work

Forcing yourself to face anxiety can work sometimes but it’s rarely the kindest or most sustainable approach. When your body is doing everything it can to keep you safe, the most effective strategy is to attend to the body first. Look at the sensations, and the thoughts will follow. This takes practice, repetition, and sometimes the support of a therapist to explore what lies underneath the anxiety, including trauma or stuck patterns.

Your Body Is Your Friend

Your mind will create endless narratives about why you should stay safe, but your body is trying to help. Imagine a friend working tirelessly to keep you safe. How would you feel if you ignored them, insulted them, or gave them the silent treatment? That’s how your body experiences the constant pressure of anxiety and your self judgment and shame that follows.

When your body feels unheard, cortisol keeps flowing, leaving you trapped in fight-or-flight—or moving into freeze and shut down because the energy has nowhere to go.

Reframing Your Relationship With Anxiety

We all feel anxiety, but it doesn’t have to control us. By recognising that anxiety is a protective mechanism, rather than an enemy, we can start to work with our bodies instead of against them. Through awareness, curiosity, nervous system regulation, and sometimes therapeutic support, it’s possible to release the grip of constant anxiety and open up space for growth, connection, and joy. This takes repetition, gentleness, and sometimes the help of a therapist — someone who can help you look beneath the anxiety and release what’s been frozen there.

Your body isn’t broken.

It’s loyal.

It’s trying, always, to keep you safe.

If you need a therapist or coach to work with, reach out to me here.