Yep, me too. Endless google searches, forums, looking on TikTok and asking others the answers that come from within. Never trusting your own judgement. Also sensing what others want from you and performing that. Trauma, people-pleasing patterns, or a hypervigilant nervous system can teach us to prioritise others’ needs and opinions over our own.Healing involves rebuilding safety within so you can listen to, and trust, your own wisdom.
Are you looking to others for the answers?
I did too, and don't get me wrong at times that voice still creeps in.Neurodivergence that doesn't fit the usual mould often gets reframed like this, I promise it's not true.Calling yourself lazy, stupid, or inconsistent often masks a deeper truth. Trauma, neurodivergence, or a dysregulated nervous system can make focus, energy, and follow-through feel unpredictable but these are not flaws in your character
Are you calling yourself lazy, stupid, inconsistent?
I did too, and don't get me wrong at times that voice still creeps in. Neurodivergence that doesn't fit the usual mould often gets reframed like this, I promise its not true.
Your body remembers even if you don't. I knew something wasn't right when I responded to whining like I was being physically hurt. The demands of caring for a child can activate old wounds, trigger the nervous system, and bring hidden patterns to the surface.
Has parenting uncovered feelings you didn't know you had?
I spent so many years feeling like my therapists either couldn't understand me as deeply as I wanted them to or that they didn't challenge me which informs my practice now. I am a firm believer you can only take your clients as far as you have been and no one recognised that I was getting stuck because my body was shutting down.Throughout my own therapy journey, I often felt like I was going in circles with kind counsellors who hesitated to challenge me. This experience has fuelled my passion for offering compassionate challenge, a balance of warmth, honesty, and deep empathy.
Do you feel like you go round in circles with the same 'stuff?
I did too, and don't get me wrong at times that voice still creeps in. Neurodivergence that doesn't fit the usual mould often gets reframed like this, I promise its not true.
Do you feel like you can't meditate because your minds too busy?
I thought I couldn't meditate for years, until I understood it properly. It completely changed when I addressed my nervous system. A busy mind doesn’t mean meditation isn’t possible, it often reflects a nervous system that’s on high alert
I get it, for a long time my entire life was led in this way and every decision became this paralysing all or nothing process.Black-and-white thinking often develops as a survival response to trauma or chronic stress. When the nervous system is on high alert, especially for those who are neurodivergent, the brain seeks safety in clear, rigid categories. While this can feel protective, it can also feed the inner critic, fuel people-pleasing, and leave little room for nuance or self-compassion.
Are you thinking in black and white ?
What a Decade of Healing Has Taught Me:
This work is so valuable because you create safety in your forever home, your body with your life partner yourself. That love of self invites others into your home because your home is protected, warm and full of life.
When you are living in the “should's” physically and emotionally the body will tell the story through control, shame, pain, self- sabotage, anxiety, overthinking, depression, addiction, weight changes, relationship struggles and much more.
Together, we reconnect mind, body, and emotions in a safe, trusting space where transformation can unfold, through vulnerability and honesty from the both of us. The nervous system begins to heal itself, much like skin mends after a cut. If nobody ever challenges you, how are you supposed step out of the reality your conditioning has created. To be safely challenged, is to be loved and respected.
Alongside this, I draw on somatic therapy, person-centered theory, meditation, breath-work, inner child work, compassion, parts, pluralism and much more. Read more here.
I would be honoured to walk alongside you on your journey whether through therapy, coaching or a combination of both.
Read more on how therapeutic change takes place here:
You can find more information on me here.
